I can at least appreciate being sick without having a stomach ache. But, fevers suck and make me feel funny and the rest of this crappiness is not enjoyable in the least. It also makes me highly emotional (read: weepy). Even more fabulous, I may have made Seth sick right before he has to travel for two weeks.

Seth took a bunch of pics at S &J's wedding. We haven't finished editing them, but this is our favorite so far and I wanted to share.

From s and j

My brother is currently living in Brazil doing an internship in Sao Paolo. He was just told that they might be able to extend his trip there for another 3 months and he really wants it. He's now just waiting on approval for funding. He seemed to be into the idea of Seth and me visiting.

I know it all hinges on Aaron getting approval to stay and all that goodness, but I'm already pretty excited. All of the other sorta big things that Seth and I had planned together have never happened. The house thing ended with Seth's purchase of the truck, which we decided was fine because it would give us more freedom to leave Southern MD. The plan to travel to Norway failed because the plane tickets were too much and the prices for them never really dropped enough to make it reasonable. The revised plan to go somewhere in Europe then fell through (or at least pushed until far enough into the future that it can be considered canceled) again because of the truck. Then the Apollo 11 event faded away and I never heard about it again, so after asking about it a couple of times and not getting anything, I let it drop. I'm genuinely not complaining, I had just let myself get excited about all of these things and so I ended up feeling kinda disappointed. Really, it's my own fault for letting me get my hopes up on things that were on someone else's dime to some extent.

But, this time, I can afford to cover myself, even if it lands me with a credit card bill. I feel like I have an opportunity that I can't miss and I'd love to see my brother (and um, the Amazon). And since my brother is hosting, I'm really the one who needs to take care of the planning anyway. So, what I'm saying is, if my brother gets the extension, I'm going and I would guess (and hope) that Seth would come with me.

I have the bestest future ex-husband ever! On Tuesday my PMSing self was fiending for chocolate, so I went to the grocery store to get my favorite drinking chocolate. It looks like they aren't selling it anymore, so I bought melting chips and tried (and failed) to make a decent beverage on my own. Last night, Dan borrowed my car (he rode his bike home from work) to go see Greg. He came back with a bag of my favorite chocolates (Ghiradelli dark chocolate and raspberry squares) for me. He told me that he even went to another store to see if he could find the drinking chocolate that I like. So sweet! Then, this morning, I get in my car and on my dashboard is a big bag of peanut M&Ms!

He's pretty wonderful. I listen to people telling me about the divorces that they're going through and how nothing brings out someone's bad side like a divorce. If that's true, Dan is a sweetie through and through.

It's nice going through a divorce and thinking "I regret nothing of the time I spent with him."

Click here to remove yourself from the annoying red plum junk mail coupon list.

You're welcome.

I managed to finish my homework early enough that I actually had time to do stuff this weekend, like go to S&J's wedding on saturday and garden on sunday. S&J's wedding was perfect. Seth said, "Ah, this is what a wedding should be," and I totally agreed. I'm looking forward to getting to play with the pictures from it, once him and I are together with his card reader next weekend. Also, I planted a sunflower and named her Maude. She makes me smile.

So, as my friends well know, I get OCD about projects. I take on a project and I become genuinely obsessed with it until it's complete. I actually feel a bit lost (and also free) when I don't have a project. My current focus is my still nonexistent Touch Book. Since the website finally updated, I have gotten all of the answers I wanted from the good folks at Always Innovating, I have researched every published bit of hardware and software that it comes with, and I bought a bag to carry it in, all I can do is wait for it to come out... Or can I?

I decided that having a bag was not enough and it could still get scratched up or wet inside my canvas bag. So, I started looking for a sleeve. Most of the netbook sleeves that I could find are super boring. I did find some neat ones, but nothing that got me too excited. But then I found a dry bag, cushioned netbook sleeve and its overengineered outdoorsiness seemed perfect. It's ugly, but it floats... and everyone needs that, right?

While poking around the internets, wondering if maybe I managed to miss some perfect little gem of a sleeve made by some small no name brand, I came across a somewhat boring sleeve that was displayed with a really neat decorated netbook. New side mission! Make the netbook pretty! (Maybe it will counteract the orange drybag in the manly canvas messenger bag). Since it will already be red I decided to look for some swirly black stickers and ended up on a scrapbooking page and learned about rubons. Cheap, beautiful, seamless and can go on metal. I found a cool lithograph style one and more modern urban floral one as well as a few others that I like.

Does anyone have any experience with rubons especially on metal? Will this turn out really tacky (rubon experience not required to answer this question)?

Is there seriously not one single decent e-book reader for linux out there? FBReader is lame and that seems to really be the only option. I like Kindle's and Mobipocket's ability to take notes and highlight text which can be read elsewhere and linked back to the source. This seems exceedingly simple, so I just don't get why it's not available. This is actually a bit of software that I would pay for without complaint and I can't find one.

Then again, I'm bitching and I don't know if the Touchbook will come preloaded with something designed for it. It has such a pretty touch interface so I'm hopeful that they wrote something themselves. Especially since they keep touting it as a great option for an e-book reader.

I am so friggin anxious to get this thing!

Turns out I'm not superdumb! I know, there are some of you out there that are shocked and the rest just think that I'm confused again. But, after not doing anything bio related for years, I just checked my grades thus far in my Neurobio class and I have a perfect score!

YEY!!!!!

This week,I have to read and take full notes on a total of 170 pages in just my text books, plus a few online modules, plus additional reading to answer the conference questions. I need to start collecting and organizing material to start my 2 paper outlines. I need to answer the conference questions which are usually about a half page each and there are several, plus comment on other classmates answers. This is just for two classes.

Plus I'm working 40 hours, plus I need to take care of basic life things such as dishes, cooking and paying bills. I've been trying to force myself to get back into doing yoga in the morning so I can stay in some amount of decent shape and it also helps me sleep much better. I need that because I lay in bed and feel stressed out because I still have so much work to do. This is only my third week back at school, I'm sure I'll get back into the rhythm of this and it will stop freaking me out so bad. I'd prefer for that to happen sooner rather than later, please.

Dan was great last night and emptied the dishwasher of my dishes. Seth has been fabulous helping me out with housework and even offered to take care of my bills for me. He let me call him at work yesterday so I could ask him a question about my material that I didn't understand. My dad is covering my books, my mom is buying me the netbook so I can work anywhere (yey google docs offline syncing!). I'm so lucky to have the support system that I do.

Anyone ever gone into the heart of DC for the 4th of July? Any suggestions/opinions? Is it worth the traffic and crowds?

I just pre-ordered a Touchbook. I'm a little too excited.

( Nerdjoy )

I figure with 1 year of full time school (thus 2 years of half time school), I'll get a lot of use out of it. It will be great for trips and will be great for a kitchen pc (the internet is one hell of a cookbook). It's not slated to ship for another couple of months, but I figure it's so much more of what I want than what is currently available, that it's totally worth the money(though it's priced the same as all other available netbooks) and the wait.

I LJ a lot about my purchases. I wonder why that is.

So, I currently have a love/hate relationship with Sierra Trading post. I have a coupon code for 25% off $200 or more. I could spend that easily. Heck, I had more than that chilling out in my cart. Do I have the money to spend on it? Kinda, I underestimated how much money I had this month and saved a ton. Then again, I'm going back to school and need the money. If that Apollo 11 thing turns out that it does have a black tie component (which Seth was originally told that it does) I need the money to buy a dress because the only formal dress that I own is from prom. Yeah.

Anyway, I've convinced myself I need: a pair of top of the line snowshoes (we're still planning on doing winter backpacking sometime and $104 seems like a pretty killer deal for those), a midweight thermal baselayer that is really pretty (I'd get a lot of use out of it, plus I don't have a synthetic baselayer which I've read is better for moisture management on long trips), a low impact sports bra with wide straps for backpacking (since I'm always wearing underwire bras while backpacking which sucks, plus the ones I have aren't great at moisture management), and a CRKT tactical fixed blade full tang knife ($45 for a $110 knife and the sheath is so wonderfully overkill it makes me giggle).

$210 including shipping for all of that. I've already convinced myself that I *need* it all. I want to be talked into it, so maybe someone ought to talk me out of it.

God, I hope no one wasted their time reading that.

This weekend Seth and I are going to be braving the memorial day traffic from Baltimore to New England and back. Does anyone have any gems of advice on beating the traffic? Sooper Seekrit routes or best times of day? I'm less worried about the drive up because we'll be traveling after rush hour on Thursday up north, but leaving cape cod on monday and having to get past NYC, NJ beaches and DE, so that's my real fear.

I know for part of CT and northern NY I can do rt 15/Cross County Pkwy, but that doesn't really help the meat of the issue. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Seth met my mom and brother on thanksgiving, but that has been the extend of the family meeting that has gone on with us. So, we're going to wrap up the rest of the parent meeting in a tri-state extravaganza this weekend. We're taking friday off, heading up to my dad's in CT tomorrow night, leaving there Friday morning since he has to go to work. We won't really get to see my dad, but we'll make it back up there some time soon. Friday morning we leave for northern NH to see his Dad, hang out there until late saturday. Sat night or sunday morning we will head to his mom's place on cape cod and leave there sometime on monday. I'm hoping we can leave a little after breakfast and then maybe stop back at my dad's for lunch (or leave after lunch and stop for dinner), but I have no idea what the weekend plans are enough to know if that's even possible. I think I've pushed it all off in my mind enough that I'm not quite nervous yet, but I will certainly get there.

plusranWhere are you in NH? Maybemaybe we could meet for lunch or something? I dunno what the schedule is like yet.

The surprise that I was all excited about giving to Seth was... muffins. Yes, muffins. So, there's an awesome bookstore/cafe that makes muffins that are so good, it's a shame to call them muffins. There is one in particular that Seth (and I) really love. It's a mango apple muffin that is almost all fruit with just a little bit of dough holding it together. Seth said that he could eat them every day for the rest of his life and be happy. He was so unhappy about going to Texas for work that I thought that I'd do something to cheer him up. So, I organized it with the owners of the cafe to make sure they'd be serving those muffins that day and to hold 2 aside for me. Monday before work I left early, bought the muffins and went to the post office and overnighted them to his hotel (he was getting to TX on Tuesday). I got the girl at the front desk to call Seth in his room to tell him that he had a package when I knew he was in there.

He liked it, he thought it was sweet.

-=wiggle wiggle=- I can't wait for Seth to get the little surprise that I sent him!

Friday night I drove to Seth's place and we took advantage of Saturday's perfect morning weather. He took me shooting for my very first time at an outdoor range. The first gun he put in my hands was a giant shot gun despite my insistence that I wanted to start on something little; he said that shot guns are easier to shoot. Butt of the gun in my shoulder, front hand balanced out front and a scowl with a giant pout on my face. "If you don't want to do this, you don't have to." "Good," I said and handing the gun back to him. I had a stomach ache just from holding a loaded gun. I wandered off for a bit to take a walk. A little while later, Seth came looking for me and convinced me that I should try again. Giant shotgun back in my hands, shooting a light round (is that the right word?) given to me by the red neck with the southern accent who had been shooting pictures of Bin Laden. Boom-Recoil. "OW. I'm never doing that again."

We left the trap shooting range and went to the target shooting area discussing who we should shoot pictures of "The head of the NRA?" "Bush." "Jesus!" I asked to shoot something little, so I tried Seth's 9mm. Less awful than the giant gun, but didn't enjoy the boom or the recoil. One of the guys that came with us offered to let me try his .22 caliber pistol. That was fun. Pretty quiet, no recoil to speak of, just focus and aim. It was almost meditative. I can see myself getting used to shooting and moving back up to the boomier guns. I'm... I'm looking forward to doing it again.

Sunday we tore up the front flower box, rebuilt it and replanted it. It looks so much better and my muscles had that pleasant "worked' feeling. Poor Seth is all sunburned and sore. He worked so hard on it, but we both enjoyed working out in the perfect weather.

He's going to TX this week and also to pick up his Zombie Killing Truck from AK. He is not at all happy about going to TX, but he has a surprise coming to him. :)

I have been really down for a while and I knew it was because I've been completely overwhelmed by my situation with Big Scary Things on the horizon, some in my control and some not. Some of the things that were out of my control had the potential of causing me huge problems. The sort of huge problems that might have me living on the good graces of friends if even possible or I would just rack up enormous overwhelming debt. But, then I talked to Seth and his generosity and understanding took the biggest weight off of my shoulders and left me with mostly problems that are within my control. Work on school, work on the house, work on getting a job by him. There are all things that I can do, things I can accomplish with a little work.

I started up a list of goals broken down by month and started writing down what I've done to work towards them. It feels good to look at the list and know that I'm moving my life forward. I just started it last night, but I'm almost entirely out of my funk from it. It gave me the energy to finally get things done at home. Last night I did dishes, cleaned my desk, did laundry, applied to 5 jobs (with custom cover letters for each) and did a bit of other general straightening up. I worked out for 45 minutes this morning, my arms are shaky and I feel like I can take on the world!

I have been pondering why men get in (and stay in) relationships. There are the eternal cultural jokes about men putting up with their wives. Hating being in relationships. The old ball and chain. No more freedom, just nagging. Even younger, unmarried guys roll their eyes at "women," those sex objects who are inconviniently very emotional.

Over the years, I have asked my male friends for relationship advice. Some say, "Melissa, men are simple. They like sex. Everything else is gravy. A long term relationship means a steady supply of sex. No messy dating or picking up girls." Others have said, "Why would you think that men are any less complicated and thoughtful than women? Yes, men like sex, but they crave companionship as well. Someone to support and inspire them, etc."

Now, I'm not so naive as to think that all men are alike, but we all have observed that men and women have noticeable personality differences, so I'm trying to get a more concrete sense, in general. Why do men stay in relationships?

I am allowing anonymous comments for this.

I need to get my mom something for mother's day. Here's the thing, though. She moves a lot so getting her "stuff" isn't good since she would have more things to pack. Flowers are stupidly expensive for what they are. She has an eating disorder so sending her tasty treats is mean. She doesn't know if she's going to be staying or moving soon so getting her a gift certificate for something in the area is questionable. Besides, I just looked what is available in her area and the wineries have free wine tastings and don't serve meals, most of the local attractions are civil war based except for the hand gliding school and, um, yeah, that ain't happening. The only salon with a website is eyes-bug-out expensive. I think a strip-o-gram is the way to go.

Please, I need ideas!